A Letter: One Year

Dear Bug,

I was a little more emotional about your 1st birthday than I thought I would be. There's something you might have noticed about me, depending on your age as you read these, but your Momma is pretty even-keeled. I tend to be annoyingly logical, I don't cry at sappy movies, and I most definitely do not dwell on things that make me unhappy. Yes, I can be a tad too empathetic, but I am not what one would call an overly emotional woman. Sensitive? Sometimes. Emotional wreck? Not usually.

And then you turned one.

In the week leading up to your birthday, I found myself spending hours (yes, hours) losing myself in photos of the past year. My eyes welled up every time I scrolled through your time in the NICU, I choked down tears watching old videos of you "talking" to us, and I could not bring myself to delete even the most horrible, out-of-focus, unflattering images I have of you. Any time someone asked your current size, I would frown and wipe my eyes when I realized that you had, in fact, gotten too big for your 12-month jammies this week. Sniff.

Okay... I may have been acting a wee bit melodramatic.

Not much has changed. Everyone assures me that you are still a baby. A walking, semi-talking, communicating baby - but a baby all the same - and you bet your bottom dollar that I soaked in lots of extra "baby" time this week. I sang to you and played with you. We hiked, we read, and we walked the dogs. The TV was off and the music was on. We danced, rocked, and snuggled. And at 2, 4, and 6am? I tried not to be frustrated. I tried to take deep breaths. I tried to relish that at this time in your little life, you still want your Momma. I drank in that glorious baby shampoo smell and realized deep down that you are still a baby - my baby. And I was finally able to relax.

(Plus there is always coffee. There is always, always more coffee.)

You have become quite the dynamo this month, little Bug. You have added a few more words to your verbal repertoire, the most significant being "Dada." Your Daddy just glows when you ask for him by name! He glows even more when you lunge for him, which you now do without prompting. You even say "Dada?" when you see my phone, so we Facetime Daddy while he's at work and you grin the whole time. I just love how much you love him!

You have become so much better at communicating with us. I feel like every day you figure out another way to tell us what you want or need. When you get frustrated, it's obviously communication frustration, so we've been trying to find signs and signals that help you get your point across. The most effective? "More" and "thirsty." I've been trying to work on "drink" and "water" with you for a few months, but they just didn't seem to be clicking. Then one day I looked up "thirsty" and tried it just for kicks - guess who picked it up that day? It is a much easier sign, and you definitely love to use it! You also have started consistently using "more" and like to use it for everything: more milk, more water, more food, more bath. More, more, more.

In addition to your signs, you have added a few more consonants to your daily babble and are talking up a storm. Your favorite consonant is still B, and it seems that you use "BOW!" in reference to a lot of different things. When we ask if it's time for your bath, you say "Ba! (bath)", hold your Daddy's hand and lead him to the bathtub from the living room. You love to pick out books "Buh?" and bring them to us, proceeding to either sit in our laps or signal "up!" to get on the couch with us to read. You even sit through a book or three when the mood strikes you! When asked, you can also buzz like a bee and growl like a tiger. You do "happy feet" and follow directions, such as "close/open the cabinet." You can point out your head and your ear, and will stick out your tongue or open your mouth on cue. The funniest? You aren't quite running, but you are definitely trying. You stick your arms out behind you and yell "uuuuuuuuuhhh" while speed-walking in circles around the house!

You are also currently obsessed with sharing. I know you don't know what that truly means yet, but it's adorable to watch you "share" with everyone. When you eat, you have to hand us a bite, then when we hand it back to you, you smile and eat it. When we're at play group, you walk over and hand toys to other kids. You even share with the dogs! If you have a ball, you hand it to one of them, and they even give it back to you in a never-ending game of trade.

You are a busy, busy bee little one. You are still the happiest baby I know. People are constantly asking me if you're always so smiley, and I can honestly answer "Most of the time!" You are a total ham, a snuggle-bug, a reader, a dog-lover, an easy-going little lady, and a toddler. But you are still a baby - my baby.

Deep down, I know a line has been crossed. You are no longer an infant. You are one year old. One! When did that happen? Where did the time go?

But you are still my baby. All the time in the world can pass and you will always, always be my baby.

All my love,
Momma

Twelve month stats (as of appointment 2/27)...
Weight: 23 pounds, 7 ounces (94%)
Height: 30.5 inches (97%)
Head circumference: 19 inches (off the charts!)
Clothing Size: 12 months, moving into 18 months
New Nicknames: Buggie Boo, snuggle bug
Favorites: Putting on your coat, your stuffed puppy, reading books, closing doors
Words: dada, nana (banana), yes, book, ball, bath, puff, block, momma, butt, puppy, hi, hello
Signs: daddy, more/mas, milk, thirsty, yes, up, dog

Twelve month milestones...
1/26: First Griz basketball game
2/4: Signed "more", now does it all the time for everything
2/6: Said Dada with meaning!
2/16: Said "nana" for banana
2/19: Signs "thirsty"
Brings books to you to read, then sits in your lap to do so, turns the pages.
Starting to point at things.
Can point out your head and your ear, open your mouth when asked, and shows you your tongue when asked.
Understands direction (open/close the cabinet).
Tries to put on your coat and hat.