A Letter: One Month (1 month actual, 38 weeks adjusted)

19 days old

Dear Bug,

One month old already! As cliche as it may sound, where on earth has the time gone? It feels like we've known you forever but at the same time, it also feels like yesterday you were kicking away in my belly...

34 weeks, 1 day. Baby D's birthday.

After the drama in utero, you made your grand entrance on Thursday, February 23rd - the same birthday as your Aunt Missy and cousin Bethany. And what an entrance it was! After things got rolling, it was only three hours before we met you. You entered this big, wide world screaming at 6:37pm (thankfully the screaming has since been minimal.) Already an over-achiever, you broke records in the NICU for a 34-weeker; you barely needed any assistance breathing, and what you did need was only because they were messing with you. And honestly, who wouldn't get upset being poked and prodded after being kicked out of a nice, warm swimming pool? By 4am, you were breathing on your own and never looked back.

Just born. 4 lbs, 15.4 oz.

One day old.

One day old

Snuggling.

The majority of your NICU stay was focused on lowering your bili levels, teaching you to eat, and snuggling with Mommy and Daddy. At first you seemed to like sunbathing a whole lot more than eating but once you figured out that Mommy = Food, you were a little piglet. On Friday, March 9th, you ripped out your feeding tube for the last time. Over the next 48 hours, you took all of your feeds by mouth (alternating bottle and nursing) and on Sunday you were discharged! Apparently, you were done with the hospital and I don't blame you - we were too! And again with the record-breaking: 19 days in the NICU for a 34-weeker is amazing. You, my sweet Lily-bug, are simply amazing.

Sunbathing

One week old, sleeping in Mommy's baby hat

I got this.

First bath by Mommy and Daddy

Going home! 5 lbs, 2 oz.

It's been two and half weeks since we brought you home and we're slowly adjusting into a nice rhythm of eat (every 3-4 hours, although sometimes you cluster feed), sleep (max record: 3 hours) and snuggle (no time limits there.) Being a "late-term preemie" has its own set of challenges, one of them being that we still have to wake you up to eat every four hours. No sleeping through the night for you, even if you wanted to! In reality, you never let us go that long; you know when it's time to eat, that's for sure.

The first week home was a little rough; no one warned me how noisy babies are! Each little grunt would have me shooting out of bed to make sure you weren't choking (and you grunt A LOT.) After we realized all of that grunting was normal newborn noisiness, your Daddy deemed you "gruntosaurus." We also call you Lily-bug, Bug, Fuss-pot, Fussy-butt, Piglet, little Nugget, sweet Lily, sweet baby, baby-girl, and Lily-bean. Not to mention that your Aunt Brittany has started calling you Tiger Lily. I sure hope someday you realize what your name really is...

Mommy and Bug, two and a half weeks old

Despite the large amounts of grunting, you really are a very, very easy baby. You don't get mad too often and when you do get fussy, you're quick to calm down. The only time you really get upset is when your diaper is dirty or you've decided it's time to eat and we're not fast enough getting you food! You even took your first shot like a champ. One big wail, then I picked you up and you were fine. Such a brave little Bug.

I love watching you - you make the funniest faces! It might be overkill, but there may or may not be over 300 pictures of you in my phone already... par for the course with a photographer for a Mom I guess. It's amazing to watch you learn and grow; you already have great head control and are tracking Mommy and Daddy's voices. And every day you do something new. Just yesterday you smiled your first non-gas induced smile! You little over-achiever, you - it was the cutest thing ever.

First "social" smile

I could just stare at you for hours; in fact, some days I do just that. We end up spending large amounts of our days snuggling. I realize this is probably the only time in your life that I'll be your number one priority, so I'll soak up all the staring and snuggling while I can!

Sad face

Yawn!

Are you afraid of the dark?

So sweet.

So small! Bug with Gramps' hand.

Fishie face

Little Bug, we're so happy you're here and part of our little family. Izzy and Reef are too, but Reef especially. Every day he gives you kisses and looks at me like, "When is she going to be big enough to play?"

First family outing

This weekend we will embark on your first big roadie. I'm a little nervous of over-stimulating you, my little preemie, but it's something you will have to get used to because Mommy and Daddy love to travel. You will get to see your Uncle JC, who is oh-so-excited to meet you, and your great-aunts are throwing you a shower! We are also going to introduce you to your new best buddy, Atticus. I guess if you start getting stressed out, we can always snuggle. After all, it is the cure for such things.

After only a month of leap-frogging everyone's expectations, each day you continue to show us a little more of your personality. I can't wait to meet more of you, my little Bug.

Love always,
Your Momma

One month stats (as of March 28th)...
Weight: 6 pounds, 4 ounces
Height: 19.5 inches
Head Circumference: 14 inches
Diaper Size: Preemie
Clothing Size: Some preemie, swimming in Newborns

First month milestones...
Discharged from the NICU: March 11th
First lunch: March 22nd, Nimbus Brewing
First family outing: March 24th, Sam Hughes Championship Dining to meet Aunt Christi, Uncle Ed and Cousin Nikki
First smile: March 27th

19 days old

19 days old

It's a GIRL! 34 weeks - Birth Story

On February 23rd, 2012 at 6:37pm, Mike+Dianne welcomed their daughter, Lily Kiyo, to this big, wide world.


Baby's Name: Lily Kiyo
Due Date: April 5th
Birth Date: February 23rd
Gestational Age: 34 weeks, 1 day
Weight: 4 pounds, 15.4 ounces
Length: 18 inches

As many of you are already aware, I've been in the hospital for the past four weeks due to PPROM. A short summary: I went into pre-term labor twice. At 26 weeks, I was hospitalized for three days then sent home on partial bed rest with a prescription for Nifedipine. At 30 weeks, they were able to stop labor again but my water broke and I was hospitalized on strict bed rest for the duration of my pregnancy - either I would go on my own or we'd try to get Baby D to 34 weeks. Well, we made it! My induction was scheduled for the morning of February 23rd.

I was wheeled downstairs to L&D at 7:30 where they started my IV fluids and antibiotics. After getting checked (4cm, 80% effaced to start!), the pitocin was started around 8:30 and we just sat and waited. And waited. And waited some more. As Mike said, it was like watching water boil! To pass the time, we each took a quick nap, played Words with Friends, listened to music and chatted with my nurse. The nurse increased the pitocin every twenty minutes or so, and as the contractions increased, I was having more back labor than anything else. They were very regular, but easy to breathe through. I was able to move around as long as they could keep bebe on the monitor, so I stood and rocked, sat on the birthing ball and used a rocking chair. The best relief definitely came from standing, leaning forward and having Mike put pressure on my back. But also, surprisingly, the rocking chair. My nurse brought me hot packs and I was able to use the chair as pressure to keep the heat on my back. Much more effective than Mike trying to hold it there while I danced! Plus I could rock and count through the tougher contractions. 

Throughout the morning, the contractions were very manageable - they felt exactly like what I'd experienced before with the pre-term labor, nothing worse with the pitocin. At 3, my doctor came in to check me and I'd only dilated to 5 and wasn't really feeling any worse (as she said, "We need pain!"), so she broke the forebag of water in front of bebe's head. Holy crap. Within ten minutes, I was still at a 5 but 100% effaced and feeling every little bit of it. Baby Girl had DROPPED and wasn't messing around! I kept insisting to my nurse that I had to go to the bathroom, and after she checked me, I was no longer allowed to get up because "You don't have 34 weekers in the toilet. That's your baby's head." Ooohkay then!

The pressure was very intense; the contractions went from 0-60 and were right on top of each other. Despite the pain, I was able to breathe through them by counting and visualizing the last mile of some of the races I've ran. Mike kept cool washclothes on my neck and eyes, and I squeezed his poor fingers through each one. At 4:30, I was writhing in pain. The pressure was SO intense, I asked her to check me again and if we hadn't made progress, I was giving in. I was only a 6 and the anesthesiologist was called. He put in the epi shortly before 5, but not without commentary on how hard I was to poke. Thanks, dude, I'm trying to sit really still here while having contractions and you find the need to tell me my spine is difficult to poke with a large needle?! Because I was so far along, they did a bolus to get it started and... it didn't work. After a few more minutes, I'm in pain, have completely lost my focus and can't get comfortable; I was writhing from side to side. Mike hands me the clicker and I was so confused, I had no idea what to do with it! "Jeopardy, babe, Jeopardy!" "Oooooh!" Haha. Click. Aaaaand, nada. Seriously? We tried once more and still nothing. It might have taken the edge off, but I still felt everything and had complete control over my lower half - all I felt were some tingles in my toes. That's it. They had the anesthesiologist come back about 6 and they ended up giving me Lidocaine through the epi (yes, the same stuff you get to get your teeth pulled). Apparently that's all it took for me to relax because all of a sudden, the nurse is hitting the emergency button and we had ten people in the room (my doc, NICU team, more nurses). I went from a 6 to a 10 in five minutes and it was time to push! 

I was completely numb and couldn't feel any of my contractions yet I could still move my left leg. So weird. Anyway! My doctor, nurse and Mike talked me through each round of pushing since I couldn't feel anything. Everyone was cracking jokes and I started laughing - which apparently was more effective than my pushing! The doctor kept telling me to keep laughing, which of course made me giggle more. After a final round of pushing, bebe arrived at 6:37pm. Mike saw her and just kept saying, "It's a girl! It's a girl, babe, it's a girl!" over and over - and he even cut her cord. She got 9/9 on her Apgars and was screaming strong and loud. She was doing so well, I got to hold her for a little bit and say hi before they had to take her to the NICU. The nurses kept asking me if she had a name, and I told them we had two options but wanted to hang out with her for a bit before deciding. Then one of the NICU nurses looked at her and said, "She looks like a Lily." Mike and I looked at each other, and I said "Well, that was one of the two options... and she does look like a Lily." And Lily she is! It totally fits her. Little Lily-bug.

Once they got her to the NICU, she was still breathing room air but got a little stressed out after being messed with, so she was on CPAP until about 4am. Since then she's been breathing on her own. Mike got to go visit her for an hour or so while I recovered; I was able to see her around ten. 


I was discharged on Saturday, February 25th - exactly one month after being admitted; Lily was discharged Sunday, March 11th. Considering they warn you to prepare for baby to be in the NICU until their due date, leaving in 2.5 weeks is nothing short of amazing! What a rockstar she is. Once she decided she was done with the hospital, she wasn't messing around. She ripped her feeding tube out on Friday (the 9th), so the nurses decided to keep it out and see how she'd do. Then she proceeded to gain over two ounces in 48 hours so we were discharged Sunday morning! She still has some breastmilk jaundice, but her color improves every day and the neonatologist said she should grow out of it by 4-5 weeks. 


Since we've been home, she's been a little piglet! It'll be interesting to see how much weight she's gained at the pediatrician's tomorrow. She came home at 5 lbs, 2.4 oz. Because the bottle is significantly easier for her to take, and energy stores are one of the biggest issues with wee ones, we're still alternating breast and bottle feeds, but her energy is significantly higher than it was even a few days ago. Yesterday she was awake for an hour and half! And was loving her tummy time. She was scooting across the blanket toward Reef. He was very intrigued.

Mike and I are adjusting to the lack of sleep. The first night was a little interesting; I'm pretty sure she's having a growth spurt because she was hungry every two hours. Last night she settled back into her every 3-4 hour schedule. Because she's a preemie, we have to wake her up to eat every four hours if she doesn't wake us up first but thus far, she's been calling the shots. Of course I've been freaking out at every little noise and get up to check on her constantly but hopefully we'll adjust to those noises soon. Aaaah first time mommyhood. How come no one warned me how noisy babies are?! 


Side note, one of the reasons I wanted to avoid the epi is because I was doubtful it would work; my body and anesthesia have never gotten along. Look who was right? Both my nurse and the anesthesiologist were insistent that I have a copy of my records for my next baby so that they're not starting from zero. It was very sweet though, the anesthesiologist came by to check on me afterward and to apologize that it didn't work. Not his fault, but cute nonetheless. Also, the doctor thinks one of the reasons my contractions were so intense is because even though Baby Girl was head down and engaged, she had rotated from posterior to transverse before turning the correct direction right before being born. Little stinker!

What an adventure. We are totally smitten and are so excited to have the Bug home!


Now for pictures...

34 weeks, 1 day. Morning of induction.

34 weeks, last preggo pic

Just born

1 day old

1 day old

1 day old

Miss Sweetness

1 week old, wearing Mommy's baby hat

Going home! 2.5 weeks old. 5lbs, 2.4oz

Yawn!

Reef checking out tummy time.

Mommy+Lily, 2.5 weeks post-partum.

33 weeks

Due Date: April 5th. If I don't go on my own, we are inducing in one week - February 23rd (34 weeks, 1 day.)

Musings on the Weekly Photo: Is that a cantaloupe or a baby? I'm sure you can imagine that if I were to go full-term, it would look like I stuffed a beach ball up my shirt!

Marination Time: 33 weeks

Weight Gain: Net (+14) as of today (part of my vitals are daily weights.) At least I'm not losing anymore!

Belly Button Watch: Still an innie! Kind of. But definitely not an outie!

Maternity Clothes: Umm, yeah. I don't really get "dressed" each day. Yoga pants and tank tops it is!

Fruit of the Week: I do believe we are now a honeydew! Most honeydews I've seen are smaller than squash, but whatever.

Name: We officially have two names (both first and middle) for each sex. Hurrah! Yes, we're still keeping them a secret. No, I'm not telling you.

Gender: Team Green

Movement: Depends on the day and the time of day, but bebe is still super-duper active.

Cravings/Aversions: I definitely still crave fruit and I definitely am back to being turned off by poultry.

Annoyances: Hello, third trimester hormone surge! I can cry at the drop of a hat and have an irrational desire to throw temper-tantrums over non-consequential things. Example: Last night my nurses took WAY too long to refill my water pitchers (we're talking hours, not minutes - I wasn't being that ridiculous) and I almost threw my empty pitcher down the hallway. I was also tempted to stomp my preggo, bed-ridden butt down the hallway to get my own damned water. I was so incredibly pissed that as soon as Mike showed up, I burst into tears. I know a lot of my reaction is partly to blame on hormones and partly due to being sick of being in the hospital, but I just want to go back to doing things for myself! Oh, and don't forget the return of the morning sickness, now complete with vertigo. Blech.

Highlights of the Week: I don't want baby to be any earlier than necessary, but I really hope I go on my own before next Thursday... let's say, oh, Wednesday night! My doctor actually won't be in town, so I will have another doctor from her practice, but they've all been very understanding and supportive of the few desires I have left (being able to walk around during labor aka not being tied to the bed, trying to get labor kick-started without Pitocin, or with as little Pitocin as possible and turn it off as soon as I'm in active labor, etc.) But considering the way everything else has gone thus far, I'm thinking I may be SOL. We shall see!

Bake, baby, Bake! 32 week update

30 weeks

31 weeks

32 weeks

Oh hi there, Baby! Smoochie Smoochie face. Approximately 4lbs, 1oz.

Due Date: April 5th. If we can make it, likely induction around or after February 23rd.

Musings on the Weekly Photo: It's a belly! Doesn't seem to be growing much, but the size seems to be directly related to where baby is hanging out. Now that s/he is head down, his/her size is dispersed over a larger area = smaller-looking belly. I will say that in clothes, it looks huge. Lacee and Mike each swear it gets bigger every day!

Marination Time: 32 weeks

Weight Gain: Net (+13) as of today (part of my vitals are daily weights.) I have lost weight since being hospitalized, but the doctor says she's not worried as long as Baby is growing - which s/he is! A lot of the problem is loss of muscle mass due to inactivity, so we have increased my caloric intake to fatten bebe up.

Maternity Clothes: Maternity clothes? What are those? These days I live in a rotation of yoga pants and three tank tops. Sometimes Mike throws a maternity t-shirt into my clean laundry pile and I'll try that out. :) The few cute maternity clothes I own are geared toward going out and about, therefore not so conducive to sitting in a hospital bed all day. Bummer.

Fruit of the Week: It's our final week as a squash.

Name: We officially have two names (both first and middle) for each sex. Hurrah! Yes, we're still keeping them a secret. No, I'm not telling you.

Gender: Team Green

Movement: It's an aaaaaalien.

Cravings/Aversions: Salad and fruit. No aversions to speak of unless hospital mystery meat counts...

Annoyances: Boredom mostly. Feet in my ribs once in a while and my hips ache from inactivity. But in reality, I feel pretty awesome especially considering the situation.

Highlights of the Week: Every day we keep baby in is a highlight. Bake baby, bake!

Update...

Sorry for the long absence. As many of you know, last Saturday I was admitted for the second time in pre-term labor. This time I had dilated to 3cm and was 80% effaced! Eek. They were able to slow the contractions again with the magnesium sulfate, but then on Monday afternoon. baby went and tried to get rid of his/her swimming pool. Anxious baby! We made it through that initial 24 hours without having a baby, so now it's been day-by-day. Eighty-percent of women who experience PPROM (pre-term premature rupture of membranes aka my water broke) go into labor within one week and we are now at 8 days! So hurrah!


A little bit of clarification since this seems to be an ongoing misconception, but just because my water has broken doesn't mean I have to deliver immediately. Yes, most of the time water-breakage is a sign of imminent delivery, but in the case of PPROM, not necessarily. If I were to go into active labor, they will not stop it but if we can increase the latency (cooking time), the benefits of keeping baby in outweighs the risks. Since amniotic fluid is dynamic, as long as I stay well-hydrated, baby continually creates more fluid (drinks it in, pees it out. I know, very gross.) The biggest concern is infection, so I have been pumped full of antiobiotics for the past week and they are monitoring my vitals closely. On average, for each day baby stays put, s/he will spend two fewer days in the NICU. Every day counts!
As for what has been going on more recently, my daily NSTs have looked great (minimal crimping of the cord, good accelerations) and as mentioned, they're watching my vitals closely for any sign of infection. Blood pressure and temp have been holding steady. They did an AFI (amniotic fluid index) today and Baby has built up his/her swimming pool to normal despite the slow leak! Hurray! The nurses have all been calling Baby D "rockstar baby" because s/he has been very, very active and easy to monitor. Just today we have a discovered that s/he loves the Mumford & Sons Pandora station! I asked my Doctor a bunch of questions this morning and these were her responses: 1. AFI? As I mentioned, we had one today and it looked great. Fluid levels were at the high end of normal and baby had a full bladder! 2. I haven't gained any weight in almost three weeks, which concerns me (my net weight gain is around 13 pounds since I lost ~8 to 10 in the first tri). Since I'm on complete bed rest and muscle weighs more than fat, there is probably some nutrient conversion going on. Baby is taking my muscle to grow, which is okay but the lack of gain still worries me. They had the nutritionist come in and we're going to try and up my caloric intake with more fruits and veggies (most of the hospital food isn't exactly appetizing, especially their protein choices.) Mike has been great about bringing me fresh fruit and snacks, so I'll try and eat more of that too. But my doctor said as long as baby is growing, she's not worried with the lull. We'll do a follow-up ultrasound on Friday or Saturday to check his/her progress (last sono was 1/28 and Baby was about 3.5 lbs.) 3. How long is she going to let me go (she has been very vague on this point)? If I make it to 34 weeks, she will test my fluid to see if baby's lungs are developed. If they are, she will induce me at that time because the risk of infection is too high. If not, we'll try to keep me going to 35 weeks. I'll be 32 weeks tomorrow, so we might have a baby in two weeks. Isn't that nuts? Obviously if I show any sign of infection, they'll induce immediately. The good news is because my uterus is so irritable, doc and nurses think it won't take much and I'll be able to avoid pitocin - something I've been against having since the beginning. But watch my words, I'll probably end up eating them. Haha.

So that's what we've got! Sorry it's taken me so long to get this up. If you have any questions, I have no problem answering them. Send 'em on over!

Progression (29 weeks, 3 days)

29 weeks

Due Date: April 5th

Musings on the Weekly Photo: Where'd THAT come from?

Marination Time: 29 weeks

Weight Gain: Net (+11) as of doc appointment on 1/20. But if you add in the weight I lost and then re-gained, we're at +21. Ugh.

Maternity Clothes: All about the same, sweats or maternity pants. I definitely can't wear many of my old shirts without a tank top underneath to add length because the belly has finally popped out.

Fruit of the Week: Squash! We graduated!

Name: We officially have two names (both first and middle) for each sex. Hurrah!

Gender: Team Green

Movement: Par-tay. Baby is head down most of the time now, so it's pretty odd seeing a foot pop out up above my belly button. But that is much-preferred over transverse - Baby was running out of space and decided that s/he liked having his/her head in my right side and his/her butt sticking out by my belly button. Holy wow that was uncomfortable...

Cravings/Aversions: Vegetables. Salad. Sweets in moderation. I definitely crave dessert after lunch and dinner most days. The idea of meat grosses me out most of the time.

Annoyances: I don't like having my kidneys kicked. Other than that and occasional contractions, I feel pretty good!

Highlights of the Week: Got another peek at Baby D yesterday, s/he has a TON of hair and is weighing in at 3lb 2oz. Dr. Farias said at 34 weeks she won't stop labor if it starts, so as long as I make it that far, I get to back to "normal" in 4.5 weeks! Hurray! We're supposed to start our birthing class this week as well, but it's a six-week course so the Doctor recommended we try to switch into a weekend class that knocks it out in one day. She said six weeks was probably "really wishful thinking." Eek! We might have a baby in less than six weeks?! In other news, Sharon and Jerry visited last weekend and my parents and Grammie are here this week, so we've been able to get a lot of baby-shopping and cleaning done. Baby D now has a dresser, a place to sleep, some clothes and a carseat. I feel much more prepared now!