A Letter: Fifteen & Sixteen Months

Bubble fun with your Reefy.

Dear Bug,

The summer has finally started, the weather has been phenomenal, and we are officially on the go! Between playdates, dog-walking, hiking with friends, and traveling, this summer is shaping up to be insanely busy! Forgive me for lumping two of your letters into one but I made an executive decision that outside play time trumps computer time. In fact, the only reason that I'm getting your letter done today is that it is raining cats and dogs and you, my little sleep-fighter, are finally napping. Yes, you - you still don't like to sleep! In fact, one of the biggest changes since my last letter is that we have embarked upon our night-weaning journey. You have fought it tooth and nail, and there have been nights when your Daddy and I haven't been sure it was our best decision. It has been hard. Really, really hard. Parenting, it turns out, can be hard.

You screamed. 
You cried. 
You hit. 
You flung yourself around in your crib.
You signed "Please! More milk please!"
You signed it, over and over again.
You screamed.
You told your Daddy "No no no!"
And you screamed some more.

It took over a week of really terrible nights. And I mean really terrible, horrible nights. Fifteen minute intervals creeped into hours of screaming. I couldn't show my face or an ear-splitting tantrum would ensue. But if Daddy came in? Daddy was okay. Daddy could pat your tush or rub your belly and you would calm down. But if Momma tried to come in? All hell would break loose. Momma was a no-go. 

Did I mention that it was hard?

But night by seemingly never ending night, there was a little less screaming, a little less crying, and a little less hitting. Tearful nights dawned, exhausting days waned, and you got through it. Then about the time we got you sleeping (mostly) through the night with no milk, we had to travel.

Oops. 

Needless to say, we have had a bit of a regression. You've had good nights and bad nights. You've had even worse nights. We would get you down to one wake up, and then we were off somewhere else. First Missoula, then Phoenix, then home. Back to Missoula, back home. Then camping, then home. Then Laughlin, then home. But this week? This week we are committing to you, little Bug. Despite our attempts to keep your schedule the same no matter where we go, that routine hasn't been enough for you to sleep well. So we are going to forego the next trip planned and stay home to get you back in a groove. It may be too soon to be hopeful but lately we have seen a light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully being home for a few weeks instead of days will be the trick. You are one stubborn little miss, that's for sure.

Funny enough, looking back, I didn't think you had changed that much in the past two months but reading my notes, I realize you have learned so much in sixty days! You are talking a lot - you seem to learn a new word every day, although you are still very shy about speaking in front of anyone but Momma and Daddy. You are copying everything we do - when we went camping, you saw Papa sweeping the travel trailer deck and then later that morning, we caught you picking up the broom and sweeping just like him! You were so proud of yourself. You love to find birds - whenever we read a book with birds, or are outside, you point them out and say and sign "Bird!" You are also super duper silly - you love to hide behind your hands or the couch, then pop out and say "Boo!" You are trying very hard to jump - during our camping trip, you saw Atticus jumping and now you are obsessed with trying. You bend down into a deep squat, then throw your hands up and say "JUMP!" You are so close! You get all the way up on your tippy toes and almost make it off the ground.

Speaking of tippy toes, you love to walk around on them. Backward, forward, spinning in circles, you love your tippy toes. You also love to kick your soccer ball, dance to all types of music, and climb. Oh boy do you love to climb. You're a little monkey! Your favorite thing to do is climb up the ottoman to stand and dance, giving your Momma a heart attack. Thankfully you are adept at getting off the ottoman safely, either by sitting down and scooting off, or by waiting to jump into my arms. I am dreading the day you figure out that you can jump off by yourself!

You have figured out how to do simple puzzles, and with direction can pick out shapes or animals and put away the correct puzzle piece. You stack four blocks without assistance. You are a total love bug and spontaneously hug and kiss not only your parents, but also your puppies, dollies, and stuffed animals. You know the sounds for a dog, cat, owl, cow, sheep, duck, monkey (complete with arm motions!), gorilla, pig, elephant, bear, lion, tiger, bird, and snake (you hop for frogs and rabbits.) You can point out your head, hair, ears, eyes, nose, tongue, lips, teeth, hands, fingers, toes, feet, knees, arms, legs, neck, knees, and belly button. You can point out our noses, ears, hair, necks, and belly buttons, and love to lift my shirt to show me whenever you have the opportunity, appropriate timing or not. Ha!

You are also a major helper - you know where shoes go, and will put them away if we ask (you also retrieve them when we are getting ready to go somewhere.) When we do laundry or unload the dishwasher, you like to "help" with the chores. You follow Daddy into the laundry room and say "laundry" while moving one item at a time from the washer to the dryer. Whenever I bake, you drag out an apron for each of us and insist that we wear them while I'm in the kitchen. You have your apron and your whisk, and you sit on the floor and mix up some imaginary cookies while I cook. And God forbid I try to take off my apron - you are quite insistent upon us wearing aprons in the kitchen! Of course! That's what they are there for! Where you learned that, I do not know, but it's adorable. Simply adorable.

I could go on and on about all the fun stuff you are doing these days, but I'll end with my two favorite things: I can ask you how old you are, and you smile really big and say "One!" with your pointer finger sticking up! Any time you hear the number one, you show me "one!" with a big grin. You love to hear me count or say the ABCs, and sometimes I can get a two out of you ("Tuh!"), and you love the number ten - when we count, every time we get to nine, you always beat me to ten and say "Teh!"

But my favorite? My favorite is that you are still obsessed with sharing. I keep waiting for the day that you no longer want to share, but for now I will relish in your unabashed love of giving. We were in the airport last month and there was a little girl a few months older than you that was very upset. She was crying and you kept looking at her, then looking at me concerned, signing "I don't know." We ended up in line in front of them to board the plane. You were in my arms and looking at this sad little girl, and you leaned over and handed her your puppy! Your favorite stuffed puppy! The one who looks just like your Reefy. You handed him right over like "Here! He makes me happy, maybe he will make you happy too." I melted. You are such a sweet, sweet girl. (Don't worry, we got him back.)

Oh Bug. Bug, bug, bug. You are the sweetest thing. I don't know how I got so lucky to have such a stubborn yet easy-going baby, but I'm grateful you're mine. You are a feisty, shy, loving, brilliant, hilarious, and conscientious little girl. I am loving the little person you are becoming.

Until next month (with a potty training update)...

All my love,
Momma

Fifteen & Sixteen month stats (as of appointment 5/29)...
Weight: 24 pounds, 3 ounces (85-90%)
Height: 31.5 inches (90-95%)
Head Circumference: 19 inches (95-100%)
Clothing Size: 18 month sleepers, 18-24 month "big kid" jammies, 18/24 month shirts, 12 month pants, some 18 month pants if they're tight fitting, 12 month dresses, size 6 shoe.
New Nicknames: Sweetness
Favorites: Playing games, reading - always the reading!, puzzles, being outside.
Words: Too many to count, simple sentences.
Signs: daddy, more, milk, thirsty, yes, up, dog, all done, music, please, thank you, wash hands, hot, sleepy, bird, food, eat, moose, elephant, want, help me, down, I don't know, diaper, drink, outside, potty

Fifteen & Sixteen month milestones...
4/25: started our night weaning journey
4/27: said Lola and home
5/1: signed "drink"
5/8: signed "diaper"
5/11: says night night, signed "down"
5/13: cut upper left canine
5/20ish: cut upper right canine5/23: said and signed "want"
5/24: signed "help me"
5/27: said down, lily, nana (grandma) and papa (grandpa) in context
5/27: said "my puppy"
5/28: tells the dogs to lay down when I do
5/28: said doggie
5/29: said doctor
5/29: We can ask how old you are, and you say "one!" and put up your pointer finger!
6/14: started bringing a diaper and wipes to us when you need a change
6/18: started some soft potty-training
6/18: signed "potty"
6/20: peed in the potty!
Can open the doors in the house.
Has figured out simple puzzles, knows almost all of the sounds for her animal puzzle.
Stacks four blocks.
Is obsessed with sharing!
Climbs down the stairs the correct way (butt scoot.)
Points out tons of body parts on herself and others.
Climbing everything, loves to climb up on top of things and stand, especially the ottoman.
Trying really hard to jump!
Hides behind her hands or pieces of furniture, then pops out and says "boo!"
Is copying everything we do.
Definitely testing rules and boundaries.

A Letter: Fourteen Months

Dear Bug,

Oh poor, poor Buggie. We've spent the majority of this month sick or cutting molars, so it's been a little rough around these parts. You poor thing! I swear your other teeth were nothing compared to these monsters. You are downright miserable! You don't have much of an appetite, are prone to meltdowns over the littlest things, and to top all of that off, you caught a nasty cold mid-month that you gave to me as well. Needless to say after a few very fussy days, we ended up at the doctor last week to double check that you didn't have an ear infection. Dr. Graham said your ears are pristine, but not only are you cutting all four of those darn molars at the same time, you are starting on your canines as well. Poor, poor buggie! No wonder you're so sad! He gave us the green light to give you the full dose of Children's Motrin at night, and that seems to be helping a little bit. If you're being extra cranky, I can ask you if you need medicine, and you'll walk right over to the kitchen. We're also trying a handful of other remedies from some of my Mom friends, so hopefully we can find something that gives you a bit of relief. Thus far your favorites are frozen sugar snap peas! I'm just glad to find something that perks you up a bit. I miss my happy girl!

Minus all the teething, you're still pretty happy most of the time. I hate not being able to take the pain away, so I've gotten very good at distracting you when you get cranky. Whether it be by playing outside or taking the dogs for a walk, the surefire way toward an attitude adjustment is to leave the house. When I ask you if you want to go for a walk, you say "Walk?" and go get your shoes. I can ask you if you want to go grocery shopping and you'll say "Shop?!" and get a reusable tote from the drawer. You love people-watching! When we roll through the grocery store, you lean around me to get a good look at everyone saying "Whoa!" and "Wow!" when something interests you, especially little boys. Boy, oh boy, do you love little boys! This month we had our first playdate with Zeb (the little boy Auntie B nannies for, he is one month older than you), and what was the first thing you did to him? Walked up and gave him a smooch! He had just woken up from his nap and was a bit taken aback, but after he warmed up, you guys got along famously. You definitely interact more with kids who are a little older than you; I think it may be because they're more your size. You are so tall, little Bug! You tower over other little girls your age. Maybe you prefer the boys because you can't knock them over as easily! Stand tall, little one, stand tall like your Daddy.

This month you've become much more focused on tasks. I love watching your little brow furrow while you intently study something! Every morning you take books off your bookcase and "read" them quietly in your corner of the living room. Your favorites are any that have pictures of animals; you bring them to me, sit on my lap and point out each animal asking "What's this? What's that?" You turn the pages slowly, examining each item. You skip the pages that don't have animals, moving on to the pictures that interest you the most. Your eyes flit from sea otter to baby chick, taking them all in. You always love to look at the puppies and dogs in your books, saying "Puppa! Woof woof!," but you are also obsessed with birds! You like to point out the bird, signing it and saying "Buh!," especially in your Baby Einstein "See and Touch Farm Animals." If you know the sound or action of an animal, you point at it and do the sound/action. You pound your belly for gorilla, put your arm on your nose for elephant, and my favorite: you stick your hands on your head for moose! You are also starting to recognize the images from your books in real life - while shopping with Grandma a few weeks ago, you guys came and found me and you kept signing "Moose! Moose!" repeatedly. I was laughing because I thought you were being silly until Grandma said "Oh, we were just looking at the mounted moose in the hunting department!" You saw one on the wall and had to tell me all about it!

You are a crazy ball of energy these days, little miss. You hardly slow down for a minute! One minute you're in the kitchen "making" us some dinner, and the next you're trying to stand on your rocking chair. Give it another five minutes, and you're sitting in your car honking the horn, hollering at me that you're ready to go for a ride; two minutes later, you're reading books in the corner! Give it a second and you're across the room blowing me kisses and then suddenly you're sprinting toward me, wanting a hug. Then you slide off the couch and run toward the iPod dock, pointing, looking at me and signing music. Oh how you love music! If you're awake, we're having a music party! Whenever it stops playing, you will march right over to the dock, point, and sign "more music please." I cannot believe you can put sentences together with signs. Simply amazing.

You also are slowly putting words together verbally as well. You are definitely more comfortable with signing as your primary form of communication - you point a lot and sign please - but you babble constantly and are starting to say "Bye Dada" and "My Momma." You have a pretty big vocabulary for someone so little, but a lot of it we have to cue you to say. You are very methodical and careful as you learn new words; I sound them out for you and you very closely watch my lips. As I repeat them, you will move your mouth to sound them out, but always in a whisper. You don't say them confidently out loud until you have sounded them out many times before. It is so interesting! A lot of your words are approximations (as they should be at this age), but once in a blue moon, you'll very clearly pronounce a word once and then go right back to your approximation (puppy versus "puppa" for example). Your nerdy Mom finds it all so fascinating! I love watching you figure this communication thing out. It is amazing. Simply amazing.

Oh, little Bug, one more month in the books. One more month of memories, one more month of babyhood down. You are the light of our lives, Bug. Corny as it may sound, it is true. I cannot imagine what we did without you to make us laugh and cry. Seriously - what did we do every day? I'll never know, and I don't want to. Until next month, little one.

All my love,
Momma

Fourteen month stats...
Weight: 23 pounds, 5 ounces (appointment 4/16)
Clothing Size: 18 month sleepers, 18/24 month shirts, 12 month pants, some 18 month pants if they're tight fitting.
New Nicknames: Miss Sweetness, Booger, Booger-butt
Favorites: Running! Reading, going outside, music, climbing, harassing Reef
Words: dada, nana (banana), yes, yeah, book, ball, bath, puff, block, momma, butt, puppy, hi, hello, chex, snack, cat, shop, shoe, backpack, bye, duck, what's that, what's this, kids, fish (shhhh), WOW!, baby, socks, bubbles, bird, whoa, more, walk, giraffe (guh-laff), bye dada, my momma, "woof woof"
Signs: daddy, more/mas, milk, thirsty, yes, up, dog, all done, music, please, thank you, wash hands, hot, sleepy, bird, food, moose, elephant

Fourteen month milestones...
4/5: Said "bye bye"
4/8: Two upper molars broke through, still descending
Running everywhere.
Points all of the time, asking "What's this? What's that?"
Blows kisses.
Points out belly button, toes, fingers, nose, ears, hair, head, tongue, lips (smacks them), hands (waves them), feet (stomps them).
Starting to climb things, loves to sit in "your" chair, or any chair for that matter.
Points at what you want and sign "please."
Loves to kiss boys!

A Letter: Thirteen Months

Dear Bug,

I'm a little late getting your letter done this month, so I'll try not to jump too far ahead of myself with your accomplishments. It seems like you turned one and the next day something clicked. Even though your new skills are not as recognizable as the biggies (i.e. crawling, walking, etc.), when I look back on what you've learned this month, you astound me! It is true when they say that babies learn something new every day at this age. You are such a little sponge, soaking up your surroundings.

You've always been pretty clear at expressing what you do and do not want, making our lives relatively easy thus far, but now I can really see the gears turning when it comes to your receptive language. You understand so much! As a result, your communication skills have shot through the roof. As of your 13-month birthday, you still don't point very often, but you will reach for what you want with your whole hand and sign "more." I can ask what you want more of (listing things: water, milk, food, my phone, etc.) and you will nod when I acknowledge the correct item. If I'm wrong, you just keep reaching for whatever it is you want until I figure it out. You are following direction extremely well - I can ask you to find a specific toy and then ask you to put it in something (basket, toy box, drawer) and you will do it. I can ask you questions and you'll say "Yeah" or "Yes." You can successfully point out your fingers, toes, ears, head, and tongue. You also love to pretend to take care of your baby doll, giving her kisses and hugs, and rocking her to sleep - it is the sweetest thing!

You also initiate systems you know - when you're done eating, you emphatically sign "wash hands" because you know that's what comes next. Then you have to dry your hands, because that's what you do after you wash your hands (duh, Mom!) When you want to ride in the backpack, you will go find the Ergo or wrap, say "backpack" and bring it to me. If I point and ask if you want to ride on the front or back, you will nod when I point to that day's preferred riding location. You know your bedtime routine down pat and if we skip something, you get very upset. One night you were being extra testy, so we decided to put you down early and forgot to kiss Daddy good night! The horror! You kept pushing against me while I tried to nurse you, flailing your arms and signing "Daddy." I finally realized what we had skipped and asked if you needed to kiss Daddy goodnight. You nodded and walked down the hallway to him! Then we went back and you went right to bed with no more fuss. Apparently you like your schedule. Noted, little one, noted.

Contrary to the bedtime fiasco, thankfully you reserve most of your mini-tantrums for when we take something away, not when you can't tell us what you want. The #1 fit producer? At bedtime when we take away your toothbrush. You melt into a puddle of emotion on the floor like the world is ending. How dare we take away that beloved tooth brush! "I was chewing on it! It's pink! I love it! Oh how will I ever go on?"

Mean Mommy alert: it's pretty funny. You are quickly distracted by diaper and jammie time and life does, in fact, go on. Although some nights you are equally as upset that we make you wear clothes. "Why can't I just sleep in the nude, Momma? I don't need a diaper! No, no, no! Oh my goodness, how will I ever go on?" ... And then you fall asleep.

Speaking of sleep, guess who finally is periodically sleeping through the night? That's right, you! Around your first birthday, your Daddy and I were covertly discussing night weaning, hoping that you'd start sleeping a little longer at night. The night before your 12-month pediatrician's appointment, you slept a full 12 hours for the first time ever! We chalked it up to a fluke and prepared a night-weaning plan for the coming weeks, but you did it again! And then again! There were a couple of nights with one wake-up, and a few with more than two, but you still did it often enough to give me hope and some much-needed sleep. You can put yourself down at bedtime and naptime, so when you do wake at night, it always seems to be for a legitimate reason. Because of your ability to do that, our decision (as of right now) is to let you call the shots regarding nighttime. We shall see. I have a feeling you will never be a great sleeper, but I can always hope for the best.

Little Bug, you are such a ham. I think my favorite part of this month has been seeing your personality emerge a bit more each day. Sure, the uptick in communication is a plus, but that's just an added bonus to seeing you shine. You are so funny! I am a little biased of course, but my smiley baby is turning into a full-blown funny kid with a crazy sense of humor. Besides waddling like a duck around the living room, chasing your puppies, and hiding behind pieces of furniture to play peek-a-boo, your favorite thing is to perform. All of a sudden you will stop in the middle of a room, look at us with a cheese grin, pop your hands out and say "Ta-da!" Of course, this always makes your Daddy and I giggle uncontrollably, so you do it over and over again, cracking yourself up. You even laugh in your sleep! The other night while you and I were snuggling in bed, you started smiling like you were having an awesome dream. Then, very slowly, you whispered "Taaaa-daaaaa." I melted! You are the sweetest, sweetest little thing.

Silly Lily-bug, you are a hambone, a love bug, and a crazy emotional roller coaster all rolled into one. I love you so much! I can't wait to see what next month brings.

(Spoiler alert: You still rock.)

All my love,
Momma

Thirteen month stats...
Weight: Approximately 24 pounds
Clothing Size: 18 month sleepers, 18/24 month shirts, 12 month pants
New Nicknames: Hambone
Favorites: "Ta-da!", pretending to take care of your baby, pretending to cook, going outside, still loves reading books
Words: dada, nana (banana), yes, yeah, book, ball, bath, puff, block, momma, butt, puppy, hi, hello, chex, snack, cat, shop, shoe, backpack, bye, duck, what's that, what's this, kids
Signs: daddy, more/mas, milk, thirsty, yes, up, dog, all done, music, please, thank you, wash hands, hot, sleepy
Thirteen month milestones...
3/3: signed sleepy
3/9: signed thank you
3/21: signed please
Understands systems and schedules
Stacks one block on top of another
Puts on Mom's clothes correctly (likes to wear my shirts!)
Can point out five body parts
Periodically sleeping through the night
Feeds herself with a fork, with help loading it

A Letter: One Year

Dear Bug,

I was a little more emotional about your 1st birthday than I thought I would be. There's something you might have noticed about me, depending on your age as you read these, but your Momma is pretty even-keeled. I tend to be annoyingly logical, I don't cry at sappy movies, and I most definitely do not dwell on things that make me unhappy. Yes, I can be a tad too empathetic, but I am not what one would call an overly emotional woman. Sensitive? Sometimes. Emotional wreck? Not usually.

And then you turned one.

In the week leading up to your birthday, I found myself spending hours (yes, hours) losing myself in photos of the past year. My eyes welled up every time I scrolled through your time in the NICU, I choked down tears watching old videos of you "talking" to us, and I could not bring myself to delete even the most horrible, out-of-focus, unflattering images I have of you. Any time someone asked your current size, I would frown and wipe my eyes when I realized that you had, in fact, gotten too big for your 12-month jammies this week. Sniff.

Okay... I may have been acting a wee bit melodramatic.

Not much has changed. Everyone assures me that you are still a baby. A walking, semi-talking, communicating baby - but a baby all the same - and you bet your bottom dollar that I soaked in lots of extra "baby" time this week. I sang to you and played with you. We hiked, we read, and we walked the dogs. The TV was off and the music was on. We danced, rocked, and snuggled. And at 2, 4, and 6am? I tried not to be frustrated. I tried to take deep breaths. I tried to relish that at this time in your little life, you still want your Momma. I drank in that glorious baby shampoo smell and realized deep down that you are still a baby - my baby. And I was finally able to relax.

(Plus there is always coffee. There is always, always more coffee.)

You have become quite the dynamo this month, little Bug. You have added a few more words to your verbal repertoire, the most significant being "Dada." Your Daddy just glows when you ask for him by name! He glows even more when you lunge for him, which you now do without prompting. You even say "Dada?" when you see my phone, so we Facetime Daddy while he's at work and you grin the whole time. I just love how much you love him!

You have become so much better at communicating with us. I feel like every day you figure out another way to tell us what you want or need. When you get frustrated, it's obviously communication frustration, so we've been trying to find signs and signals that help you get your point across. The most effective? "More" and "thirsty." I've been trying to work on "drink" and "water" with you for a few months, but they just didn't seem to be clicking. Then one day I looked up "thirsty" and tried it just for kicks - guess who picked it up that day? It is a much easier sign, and you definitely love to use it! You also have started consistently using "more" and like to use it for everything: more milk, more water, more food, more bath. More, more, more.

In addition to your signs, you have added a few more consonants to your daily babble and are talking up a storm. Your favorite consonant is still B, and it seems that you use "BOW!" in reference to a lot of different things. When we ask if it's time for your bath, you say "Ba! (bath)", hold your Daddy's hand and lead him to the bathtub from the living room. You love to pick out books "Buh?" and bring them to us, proceeding to either sit in our laps or signal "up!" to get on the couch with us to read. You even sit through a book or three when the mood strikes you! When asked, you can also buzz like a bee and growl like a tiger. You do "happy feet" and follow directions, such as "close/open the cabinet." You can point out your head and your ear, and will stick out your tongue or open your mouth on cue. The funniest? You aren't quite running, but you are definitely trying. You stick your arms out behind you and yell "uuuuuuuuuhhh" while speed-walking in circles around the house!

You are also currently obsessed with sharing. I know you don't know what that truly means yet, but it's adorable to watch you "share" with everyone. When you eat, you have to hand us a bite, then when we hand it back to you, you smile and eat it. When we're at play group, you walk over and hand toys to other kids. You even share with the dogs! If you have a ball, you hand it to one of them, and they even give it back to you in a never-ending game of trade.

You are a busy, busy bee little one. You are still the happiest baby I know. People are constantly asking me if you're always so smiley, and I can honestly answer "Most of the time!" You are a total ham, a snuggle-bug, a reader, a dog-lover, an easy-going little lady, and a toddler. But you are still a baby - my baby.

Deep down, I know a line has been crossed. You are no longer an infant. You are one year old. One! When did that happen? Where did the time go?

But you are still my baby. All the time in the world can pass and you will always, always be my baby.

All my love,
Momma

Twelve month stats (as of appointment 2/27)...
Weight: 23 pounds, 7 ounces (94%)
Height: 30.5 inches (97%)
Head circumference: 19 inches (off the charts!)
Clothing Size: 12 months, moving into 18 months
New Nicknames: Buggie Boo, snuggle bug
Favorites: Putting on your coat, your stuffed puppy, reading books, closing doors
Words: dada, nana (banana), yes, book, ball, bath, puff, block, momma, butt, puppy, hi, hello
Signs: daddy, more/mas, milk, thirsty, yes, up, dog

Twelve month milestones...
1/26: First Griz basketball game
2/4: Signed "more", now does it all the time for everything
2/6: Said Dada with meaning!
2/16: Said "nana" for banana
2/19: Signs "thirsty"
Brings books to you to read, then sits in your lap to do so, turns the pages.
Starting to point at things.
Can point out your head and your ear, open your mouth when asked, and shows you your tongue when asked.
Understands direction (open/close the cabinet).
Tries to put on your coat and hat.

A Letter: Eleven Months

Mmmm, chicken.

Dear Bug,

One year ago, I told your Daddy that we probably needed to go back to the hospital. I was only 30 weeks along, but had felt a little off all day and knew things weren't right. We went, just to be safe.

Little did we know that I wouldn't get to leave until your birthday one month later.

And here we are, one month shy of your first birthday. I cannot wrap my brain around that. My baby: one year old. I put off planning your party as long as possible, the definition of denial. No! Not true! You're not turning one so soon!

But here we are.

This month, your milestones have been more subtle than they have in the past. You can now wave hello and goodbye, give high-fives, and turn pages in books. You love hats and headbands and can put them on your head by yourself. You love to play keep away, and have learned to scoot backward off the bed and couch. You mock your Daddy when he coughs or sneezes "Eh eh eh eh eh!" and by far the cutest: you understand pretending. We discovered at New Years that you love to have fake tea parties! It is crazy to me you can already understand, appreciate, and enjoy using your imagination. Just crazy.

More fun things: you carry everything like a purse. Blanket, stuffed animal, bag, paper sack - it doesn't matter - you hoist it over your shoulder and take it for a hike. You kiss every reflection you see. In fact, we can ask you to kiss specific things ("Can you give the puppy besos, Lily? What about the baby in the mirror? Can Daddy have a kiss? What about Momma?"), and you differentiate between each category. We can ask you to find your ball or your block, and you know which item is which. If I ask you, "How big is Lily?" you throw your hands in the air and smile. If we say "Oh my goodness!", you put your hands on the sides of your head like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. And my favorite? If you see a picture of a gorilla, or if we call you the "Goobie-Gorilla", you pat your belly!

You also understand how to be gentle with animals, and pet nicely when we tell you to do so. That's a big one because you love animals! Especially dogs, and not all dogs are as tolerant as yours. Izzy has warmed up to you considerably, but Reef is still your very best friend. His patience with you melts my heart. Every day, I catch the two of you doing something adorable. The other day in the car, I caught you playing peek-a-boo with him in the backseat. Then this past week, you sat on him (he didn't even flinch!) then proceeded to play with each of his paws in rotation, in between patting his belly. Grab a paw, inspect, pat the puppy. Grab a paw, inspect, pat the puppy. Repeat. You were giggling the whole time, and he finished the game by giving you a puppy bath with kisses! A few days later, you grabbed his whole head in a bear hug, pulling his nose toward your cheek over and over again, grinning at me each time.

You are becoming such a little person! A little person with large opinions (well, you've always had those) and a distinct personality. You are a very happy, but very careful and deliberate child - you seem to really contemplate and think something through before putting your mind to it. The best example? You haven't yet become interested in climbing, but last week you took a look at the stairs and just went up them! Straight up, one leg at a time, very determined, from the very bottom to very top. You are the same way with the few words you have spoken - they are thought out and then very precisely enunciated. Don't get me wrong, you still babble 99.9% of the time, but when you choose to say a word, it is very obviously a word. To promote this, we try to point, sound out, and repeat the syllables of different words for you. For example, when we say "puppy" most of the time you say "bop-bop", but out of nowhere, you will pause and say "Pup! Pee!" 

With talking around the corner, it is becoming more obvious that we need to start watching what we say to you as well. The same week as the stairs incident, I asked you if you needed a butt change. Usually you light up and say "Ba!" (your answer for everything), but this time, you very clearly said "Butt!" Emphasis on the B, emphasis on the T, big huge grin on your face. Not proud of that one, but hilarious all the same.

You are always on the go. Go go go. This month, out of pure curiosity, we did some adjustment of your schedule. You were fighting your naps and you were fighting bedtime. You were waking up at night at least every three hours, if not more often. Three am would roll around, and you'd be awake, wide-eyed. I was exhausted, you were exhausted, Daddy was exhausted. Every time I put you down, I imagined you yelling at me "No! No! No! I'm NOT tired! I'm NOT!" You would yell and yell and yell and yes, eventually you would give in, but you never slept long. In the words of a friend: you fought sleep like Batman fights crime! So I threw out what we had been doing (two naps a day, crying it out if you seemed tired but wouldn't go down) and I just let you go during the day. And go and go and go. Go like the Energizer Bunny until your batteries ran out. Guess what? You now take one long, awesome nap a day. You don't yell, you don't fight, and you wake up happy. You are my napping rockstar, baby girl. A little early to be down to one nap per day, sure, but you are sleeping so much better! And really, is it that surprising? You have been in a hurry to do everything else. So here we are, up at 8, nap around noon, nap for two to three hours (!!!!!!), and down for the night around nine. You usually wake up twice overnight, but I can handle that. You are sleeping so much better.

All in all... you are, by far, the happiest baby I know. Everything is funny to you! You laugh all day long. Literally. All day. I'm not even exaggerating. You laugh at the dogs, at me, at the ceiling. At your Dad, the mirror, the moose. Most of the time I don't even know what you're laughing at but you're giggling and squealing while you walk around. You only get upset if you hurt yourself or are exhausted, and even then your upset spells are short, easily remedied, and then you're off giggling again.

A dangerous baby, people call you. You are the baby that makes parents think it'll be a good idea to have another (don't worry, we aren't even thinking about that one yet.) You are the baby that people meet and they can't help but grin. "She's just so happy!", they say. You make them think, "Kids aren't that bad!" You are a dangerous, dangerous baby.

You are my baby. My wonderfully busy, smiling, giggling, dangerous baby.

I love you. Forever and always.

Love, 
Momma

Eleven month stats (approximate)...
Weight: ~21 pounds
Height: unknown
Head circumference: unknown
Clothing Size: 12 months
New Nicknames: Silly Goose, Goose, Goobie Gorilla
Favorites: Loves all types of balls, books, taking everything out of drawers.
Words: puff, block, momma, butt, puppy

Eleven month milestones:
Waves hello and goodbye.
Plays keep away.
Turns pages in books.
Scoots backward off the bed and couch.
Climbs stairs.
Obsessed with side-stepping, backward stepping, dancing.
1/1: First trip to LA for New Years
1/11: Said "puppy"
1/18: Climbed the stairs
1/20: Said "butt"

A Letter: Ten Months

Dear Buggie,

It's official: you are ten months old and a toddler. A toddler! You toddle everywhere! You have given up crawling and nine times out of ten, you prefer to walk everywhere you go. In reality, the only time you crawl is when we play chase around the house after your bath. You giggle and laugh hysterically while you bear crawl away from us, but even that game is gradually turning into a walking game - our only saving grace is that you can't quite go fast enough when upright, so you alternate walking and falling over to crawl-sprint like a little speed racer.

Why are you in such a hurry, little Bug? You are getting too big too fast for this Momma's liking, but I'm loving it all the same. You are currently the perfect combination of an infant and toddler. You love to snuggle and nurse when you're tired, and you bury your face when you're feeling shy, but you are also oh-so-curious and into everything. And I mean everything. You open and close every drawer, cabinet, and book you can get your little paws on. You want to feel every texture and kiss every picture. You love the hallway flashlights - any time you walk away from me, I know you're going to the hallway to get a flashlight and "explore" the dark bedrooms. Seriously. You take the flashlight out of the holster and walk straight into the dark bedroom, lighting your way like a little spelunker. You also love to look at yourself in the mirror and you still dance any time you hear music. We can even ask you to "Dance, dance!" and you bop up and down. 

By far my favorite new trick you have this month is peeking. You "peek" around everything - my shoulder, walls, doors, your legs - anything! The other night after bathtime, you toddled down the hallway to the kitchen. You knew there were people at the kitchen table, so when you got there, you stopped short of the opening to the dining room, grabbed the cabinet and peeked your little melon around the side of the cabinet. When every one looked at you and said "Hello!", you giggled and hid behind the cabinet. Awwwww.

Along with peeking, you are understanding the feeling of anticipation. When I ask if you want milk, you sign "milk" and kick your legs. We can tell you we're coming to get you, slowly work our way toward your little tush, then you squeal and run away before we can get there. Daddy can pop up his pointer fingers and act like he's coming in to tickle you, and you giggle and turn away before he touches your belly. If I start singing "Pat-a-Cake", you open your mouth wide and clap your hands - even if I don't have my hands up yet (it is, by far, your favorite song of all time.) When we ask for kisses, you alternate between exuberantly planting one on whoever asks and turning away at the last minute with a big smile. You think you are quite the comedian with that one, little Bug, but that's okay - we do too.

Speaking of smiles - you have all of your front teeth! It seems like you just had the two bottom ones, and then all of a sudden the other six just popped right through. Now that you have all eight of those chompers, you definitely like to use them. You love to take little nibbles off the front of everything before gumming them down. Your favorite foods are spinach, mushrooms, clementine oranges, and any type of meat. In fact, your Grandma and Grandpa have deemed you quite the carnivore and have renamed you "The Meat-a-tarian."

We finished out this month just shy of Christmas with your very first cold. You have been a bit of a puddle, but understandably so. Who isn't a puddle when they're miserable and full of snot? You have still been in good spirits most of the time, you have just needed some extra snuggles at night. I'm not complaining about the snuggles, but you had just started sleeping through the night before you got sick, so I'm hoping after you're feeling better that we can go back to that. Momma needs sleep too!

One more month down, Miss Lily. One more month closer to one year old. I can ask you now "How big is Lily?" and you raise your arms over your head while I sing, "SO BIG!" And yes, Buggie, you are SO big. I can't wait to watch you grow some more.

Love always, 
Momma


Ten month stats (as of appointment 12/17)...
Weight: 20 pounds, 9 ounces (75%)
Height: 28.5 inches (75%)
Head circumference: 46cm (90%)
Clothing Size: 9 months and 12 months. 12 months are a little big
New Nicknames: Goobie-cheeks, Goobie-kins, Silly Lily
Favorites: Pat-a-cake, dancing, inspecting everything, walking everywhere
Words: Says Puff, block, Momma

Ten month milestones:
Babbles constantly, loves to say "Bop-bop!"
Gives high-fives
Understands anticipation
Signs milk, dog, come here, and want
11/25: Four steps
12/3: Eight steps; walks two to three steps from item to item
12/4: Let go and walked six steps into the living room
12/14: 6th tooth, upper right lateral incisor
12/14: Walked from your room down the hallway to Daddy; stood from a bear crawl
12/15: 7th tooth, bottom right lateral incisor
12/20: 8th tooth, bottom left lateral incisor; first cold
12/20: Walks in lieu of crawling

A Letter: To Remember

Dear Bug,

Yesterday was a rough day. Edit that: it's been a rough week and yesterday was especially hard. You woke up with a start, screaming bloody murder at five. Screaming might be an understatement - you were shrieking in pain, arching your back and pushing away from me. If I tried to set you down, you screamed harder. If I tried to snuggle you close, you shoved me away. I changed you, I rocked you, Daddy walked you, I tried to nurse you - nothing worked. You just kept screaming and screaming, tears running down your beautiful blotchy face. Daddy and I finally sat on the bed with you between us, alternating trying to hold and comfort you, at a loss as to what we should do. I was getting upset, feeling like a failure. I can always calm you down quickly. Always. What on earth was wrong? What did I do? What was I not doing?

Then with a whimper, you tooted. Tooted! Even in pain, you grinned with relief. Silver lining.

We burst out laughing, you smiled with a whimper, and all was well for at least a little while. For another two hours the screaming alternated with tooting until you finally fell asleep with me around seven. I was relieved that gas was our problem. I felt terrible that you were hurting but was grateful it was something simple. You hardly ever slow down these days, so having three hours of uninterrupted snuggle-time with you as you slept was amazing. I kept waking up and just staring at you. My eyes were aching, my head hurt, my neck was sore yet I couldn't tear my eyes off of you, touching your nose, smelling your hair, kissing your forehead. You were so peaceful and still, those pursed cherry lips slack with sleep. Beautiful.

Silver lining.

You woke up with a smile and immediately stood up to crawl all over me. The morning went by uneventfully - we hung out in the living room with your toys as we usually do. You were actually in a great mood, squealing and toddling around the room. You kept stealing Reef's toys. He'd look at you confused, nose you, and you'd turn away with his ball. He would go get a new toy and you'd do the same thing again, over and over again. We had a leisurely lunch while I got Daddy's food cooking, and you were perfectly content to sit in your highchair with some puffs and squash.

Naptime. You went down around one. Not your usual time, but after how our morning started, I wasn't expecting the day to be anything but abnormal. I finally laid you down and you rolled over on your side, as always, snoozing away.

Then the doorbell rang and the rest of the day slowly went downhill.

Reef barked, you yelled. You had been asleep for thirty minutes. Thirty! And would not go back down to sleep. The rest of the day felt endless. You screamed, you laughed, you cried, you smiled. The ping-pong of emotions was draining for both of us. Finally, finally, you had your bath and went down for the night.

And slept through the night. For the first time in five months.

Silver lining.

I know you're not due for your monthly letter just yet but I wanted to write down how I'm feeling in this exact moment. Not only for you, but for me. To remember that even on the roughest of days, there is a silver lining. I love you, little Bug.

Love always,
Momma